Choose your professional path when you are multipotential.the ?… The worst decision of your life! 1
Choosing a profession, a sensitive subject for multipotentials.le.s
The choice of one's professional path is one of the problems most often encountered by multipotentials.
No wonder then that this theme is one of the most sought after on the web by people "like us". Because yes, if you read this article, it is because you are certainly one of those people who "have no passion"… or very many!
This is a subject that is close to my heart, because it has touched me personally for years. And who continues to exert ruthless pressure on multipotentials.
That's why I created a Facebook group to discuss this topic… inter alia!
I am of course talking about this social pressure that asks you to choose your professional path, often very (far too) early moreover.
Let it come from your parents, who want to see you get a "good" job. Or high school, which wants to be able to put you in a class, in a stream, in a defined path from which you will never have to leave again.
And I'm not talking about the one exercised by recruiters. Nor the web crawlers that manage cv banks…
I will try to explain to you why multipotential people are under so much pressure, and even more so in Western countries, and in today's world.
As this is a long topic, I decided to do it in several parts – and therefore, in several articles.
My goal is above all to make you aware of the origin of this pressure, of the different factors that are at the origin of it.
And so to be able to take a step back, find alternatives, allow you to outsmart the traps. And so to be able to lead your life as you should, if you want to be heureux.se.
And something tells me that behind this search for a professional path, this is your ultimate goal…
Hang on, because I'm going to talk about the dominant social values, the world of tomorrow, the realities of life, and what happiness really is…
Why are we so urged to choose our professional path?
To understand this, we must first understand certain realities of the world in which we live. Certain psychological, practical, material and political aspects.
Because this pressure to choose a profession, and stick to it all your life, is explained by many aspects:
- the psychology of our parents
- the school and university system
- specialization of trades
- a society dominated by information technology
- the fear of tomorrow, of a changing world
- Maintenance of social order
- false beliefs
- the lack of confidence…
The psychology of our parents
Our parents, our family, these dear people who want our good… and often crash. Simply because they are driven by their own beliefs, fears and dissatisfactions…
The survival of future generations
If they urge us so much to choose our professional path, it is often for one fundamental thing: to be reassured.
Our parents, especially those born in the post-war generations, often have a real obsession (if they are good parents!) : that you can survive their death.
And for this, their priority is to push you to have a stable and well-paid job. So that you have money, so that you can feed yourself, heal yourself, shelter yourself and clothe yourself. Quite simply, to be able to meet your primary, essential needs.
Their pressure to choose your professional path therefore actually masks their desire to see you get a job that will protect you from need. It is this same desire, motivated in reality by fear, that also pushes them to want to see you as a couple, if possible married, and settled in a house that you own. It is this famous desire to see you "caseed", "settled" in life, with money and someone to take care of you.
But a desire motivated by fear, it is never very good…
Happiness, not a priority
For a very long time, happiness was not the priority in life. For previous generations, succeeding in life meant succeeding in life, accumulating monetary and material wealth, to provide for ourselves and our children – the other logical "way" of our life being for our parents that of continuing the lineage.
Personal development dates back to the twentieth century, and especially to the sixties, when a whole generation began to want to free itself from these famous social pressures, dominated by materialism and the accumulation of wealth. This desire to earn more, and to acquire a certain material comfort was easily explained, and had multiple causes: the end of the Second World War, and the poverty that it inflicted on generations. But also the possibility of access to studies for a larger part of the population, the gigantic transformation of society and the creation of new needs, new professions…
Already at the time, some wanted to affirm the possibility of another lifestyle: the "babacools", the "sixty-eighters", the ecologist alterglobalists began to become visible, and to place personal happiness, the expression of one's true self, pleasure and the "present moment" at the heart of their philosophy of life. But the majority of the inhabitants of westernized countries, followed by those of emerging countries (who were also beginning to have radio and television and to see how the "richest" lived), aspired and aspire even more today to wealth, comfort, and therefore to a "good job". The one who reports. Personal fulfillment was found in material comfort.
The stress of a changing (and scary) world
Our parents today see an uncertain world, which changes quickly and erratically, and which is increasingly demanding with individuals. More diplomas are being asked for the same position, and the competition for it is becoming tougher and tougher.
In addition, some parents are themselves lost in their own professional life, seeing their profession, their sector of activity devalued or collapse. They are experiencing or have experienced unemployment, or feel overwhelmed by changes in society, the omnipresence of the computer tool or the disappearance of interest in certain skills.
All this explains their stress, which they often pass on to their children. Some will then push towards trade choices only because they seem (I repeat, they seem) to last in the future. And for some professions, this is not wrong: a priori, we should need hairdressers and doctors for a lot of decades. Yes, except if robots come to replace us. Because some artificial intelligences are capable of better diagnoses than human practitioners!
And who says that in a period of confinement, or general poverty, people will still have the means and the desire to cut their hair… And we are not talking about fashion effects: hair with catogan and long beard are many among hipsters!
This generates hordes of parents who are looking to find for their child a smooth and full of opportunities for a job "guaranteed for life". When you have known the Thirty Glorious and the jobs in the administration, secure and paid until retirement, you can only dream of this for your child.
Especially when the world seems dangerous to us – and this is what the media often tells us. When danger – in fact, the feeling of danger – dominates our choices, we first try to ensure that our primary needs are met.
And especially when you don't really know what's going on in today's world: you tend to advise your children on "known" and therefore safe jobs. Becoming a writer or Youtuber may have more future for some, in reality, than professions in aeronautics for example, when the end of oil (and kerosene) looms… But these professions are sometimes difficult to understand, and we see insecurity above all.
Lack of confidence
Some parents also have difficulty trusting their children.
Firstly because they are older, and therefore in their own eyes, wiser! Some parents think, rightly or wrongly, that they know better than their child what life is, and its priorities. And what is the reality of the world. Not to mention those who have a hard time seeing us grow… and have our own knowledge, and our own desires.
We are children, so we are not equipped to choose well, often think parents of teenagers, when choosing orientation at the entrance to high school. If we declare that we want to become soigneur.se animal, they will sometimes push us to become veterinarians – assuming that they respect our primary attraction to animal care!
Many people have become doctors or notaries, have made the ENA or the Companions of Duty, out of respect for a "family tradition". And for some, it made them totally unhappy. Doing long studies in finance when one dreamed of being a seamstress or filmmaker, the examples of lives not chosen but suffered, of unfinished dreams, of missed destinies are legion.
It is a safe bet that on their deathbed, these people would have advised you to follow your path, rather than choosing the one dictated by others…
The compensation of their own dreams… and chess
Many parents dream of our lives for us from the moment we conceive. "He will be a firefighter, she will be a doctor"…Unconsciously or very assertively, our parents trace for us, before us and without us, paths of life that they like.
And for some, it's also a hidden desire to see us succeed in their place in a career that they don't have to accomplish anymore. Many parents see us as their "extension", and if we succeed, it will be somehow proof of their own success, as parents, but also as a family. Our "brilliant career" will also make them shine, as it were. We then realize the dream of his parents, instead of his own. So we don't live our own lives…
Well, as you will have understood, I will summarize things very quickly. But it was to make you aware of one thing: your parents actually want your happiness, but they are very often mistaken about the "how". Because they are not YOU. Because their motivation often hides fear, or the need for personal recognition, or unspoken disappointments, or pride…
This family pressure is a first avenue to explore, a first aspect that you must be aware of.
The guide to survival from family pressure
The first thing to do, therefore, is to become aware of the influence of your parents on your own choices. The influence of their own lives on their worldview, success, happiness, among other things.
And so to take a step back.
Both to analyze what makes them push you to choose a professional path, and sometimes to choose this or that sector, this or that profession, or this company.
Your parents may be the first to support you despite your questions and your choices of professional path. To encourage you to look for what suits you, in terms of profession, activity, source of income, life choices.
But if you are one of those who spend their time under the pressure of choice, remarks about your "instability" or lamentations about your "failures", here are some avenues to explore to allow you to free yourself from this bad posture and to redraw some bad patterns.
Take the time to ask them what drives them to choose your future profession, and why. This can help push them to question their own vision of the world and the future. But it can also allow us to enter into discussions on the reality of personal success, and the future of certain professions, for example.
In the case of multipotentials and their life choices, you can for example tell them about the jobs of tomorrow. From the need to acquire diverse and varied skills,to develop above all one's ability to learn and adapt. You can tell them about online courses, about the possibility through the Internet to do training and acquire solid diplomas throughout your adult life. To explain to them that this will allow you to adapt easily to the changes to come.
The second track is to work to gain their trust in you. To explain to them that you want to be heureux.se and succeed in your life,as they want for you. That you have skills and appetites, and that you want to exploit them, because that's what will make you heureux.se. That it is by choosing to exercise several professions, to acquire several skills that you think you are better equipped to succeed in life. That you do not want to limit yourself to a single training, to a single profession, because it seems dangerous to you. That it's like putting all your money into a single financial investment. It turns out that in addition, it is the reality….
The third track is to start creating your financial independence. Think now, even if you're in your teens, about ways to make money. Whether it's washing cars, keeping children or animals, giving private lessons, selling video games or books that you no longer use. This will allow them to see that you are able to cope in life, to create your own path. If you are an adult, put money aside, or buy a home. If you choose to quit your job, go back to school or start a business, your parents will be more reassured (and you too) to see that you have some financial or material security.
Do not hesitate to tell your parents that their pressure (to stay in the same job, to choose a course in high school, to stay in the same university curriculum) makes you malheureux.se. Express the fact that you are disappointed that they do not trust you, and in life – because that is what they make you feel. Say you would like to have their support in your research. Because this search is motivated by your quest for happiness, and by the satisfaction of your own needs for personal fulfillment. And that you seek, like them, to find your own way. And that it will be the one you trace.
Track Four: Create your own family! When you grow up, you have the right to take off and surround yourself with your own family. Whether in the choice of your friends and life companions, choose people who understand and support you. Distance yourself from your parents if despite your discussions, your exchanges on the subject, they persist in criticizing you. Or to push yourself to choose a path – even more so if it does not suit you.
Some bonus tips
Work on your self-confidence, and your personal ability to resist family and social pressure. It will always be there, whether it is about your work. But also your relationships, your physique, your personal choices…
Listen only to your instincts, and work to build your own professional career. Which will be rich and varied, and especially not monotonous, because that's what characterizes you: curiosity, the desire to learn and discover new things, all the time. By having to make a choice to please your parents, you will never find your way. It would be expensive paid to achieve happiness. You are made to multiply training, and experiences.
Take an example from people who have managed to reconcile different life paths, different passions – yes, they exist! Do not hesitate to contact them and ask them how they led their own boat… and resisted family pressure!
You will never be heureux.se if you do not make your own choices. If you realize the dream of people other than you. Even if this pressure is motivated by their love and their desire to see you safe, tell yourself and repeat to them that you know better than anyone what is good for you, and that you alone decide your life. It belongs to you and no one else.
If your parents love you, they will be happy to see you heureux.se… whatever your professional background!
>>> Also read:
>>> To discover:
Instagram : maviemagique.psychologie
Youtube: My Magical Life
LinkedIn : Sophie GIRARDOT
The book: "50 Dream jobs for multipotentials.le.s"
>>> You don't know what to do with your life? You are attracted by many professions, and you do not find your professional path? You can't get to the end of your projects? I can help you!
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