The relationship to money

I really wanted, from the beginning, to talk about money on this blog. However, people who know me know that I am more interested in the spiritual than in the material, in any case I talk more about it. And yet, money, money, flouze, money money, we often talk about it when we talk about success. Many personal development books are directly or indirectly methods of making money, more money, or much, much money. By being more efficient, by knowing how to manage your career, your wealth, by developing your business. I like money. It's a great tool that allows you to do a lot of things, it's the fair remuneration of my work. If I worked at school, studied, it was to do a job that I like AND earn a good living. I had no complex about wanting a good salary, and wanting to build a patrimony. Finally… That's what I thought. In fact, as with everyone else, my relationship with money was much more complex than that. search for balance

Everyone has their own relationship to money

As you have certainly seen, in your friends, colleagues, and family, everyone has a different relationship to money. There are of course ants and cicadas, but there are plenty of types of ants, and as many types of cicadas. And many other animals in the barnyard… His relationship with money is developed first of all according to his family history, his education. We "imbue" very early behaviors, but also personal stories, which sometimes go back several generations. If you come from a miserly family, you can easily develop the same defect and have a lot of trouble spending money, but you can also rebel and become a pierced basket, especially if you had the feeling of missing out in your childhood. The economy or the avarice of our parents may have made us develop a sense of danger, because we feel their fear of lack, a fear that can pursue us all our lives, and push us to sacrifice everything to earn much, much, accumulate again and again – or on the contrary slam like an R & B star. But spendthrift parents can just as easily have created in us a feeling of insecurity, if we have seen them struggle to make ends meet: we can then develop a furious desire to have a minister's salary, or just to save our earnings as much as possible. A personal story can generate different behaviors within the same siblings. Those who reproduce, those who rebel. Our family history and our parents' relationship to money can push us to make unconscious life choices in many areas. For example, if money is taboo, or if the rich are seen as monsters, earning a lot of them can be guilty. Like being richer than your own parents, or siblings. It is a heavy legacy of the Judeo-Christian tradition, which can lead to a contradiction between the desire to succeed, in a capitalist world, where money is an attribute of success, and that of not being rich so as not to be frowned upon. One may end up not choosing a "profitable" profession or even grilling oneself in high school exams. Or on the contrary, give up a career as a musician for that of chartered accountant, but not out of love for numbers. And yes… Things have changed with the arrival of Protestant influences and Anglo-Saxon culture, a culture where money is not a taboo, but a mark of success. But the taboo can be buried. If his parents have always been employees, or tenants, difficult for some to become bosses, or owners; or quite the opposite: they will want to succeed, to have what their parents wanted for themselves and did not have, or to offer them what they dreamed of. You can also become thrifty to the point of being afraid to invest. In training, in housing, in a working tool that would nevertheless allow us to earn more, paradoxically. To think of oneself poor is to live in one's head in the short term, on a day-to-day basis, it is also to be afraid of the future, and therefore of the expense that can be regretted later. We also develop a habit of poverty, where living with little becomes a way of life… because we've always done it like that, or out of a desire for a simple life.I will talk about this in another article.

A tool for self-knowledge

Our relationship with money is a real indicator of our psychology.Watching yourself spend or save, studying your relationship to money, it's really a great tool to define yourself. Rather optimistic or pessimistic? Confident or worried? Hedonistic or generous? In long-term construction or short-term pleasure? What do you buy to please yourself? Do you have to spend a lot to feel like you're enjoying life? You can be addicted to money such as drugs or alcohol. If money obsesses you at any time of the day, it is because you need to think about your personal esteem. Amassing for pleasure, consulting your accounts several times a day, feeling euphoria when you buy, if your relationship to money is mixed with aggressiveness (I'm rich, I want to show it) or inhibition (I spend to feel like I exist), it's almost cow love! There are the torchbearers, who like to spend a lot in front of others, the compensators, who manage their negative emotions by compensating with purchases. The psychology of money is a good way to examine many points of its history, its ambition, its values, what makes sense in its life. It's so much related to his upbringing and genealogy, to the history of his ancestors, that I use it in focus groups. I often encourage participants to talk to their parents, to ask them how they see the money. They usually learn a lot… It's about examining your relationship to money, putting it into perspective, to overcome transgenerational blockages and better live your life. In the series "Desperate Housewives", the first seasons, Gabrielle Solis (played by Eva Longoria) thinks only of money, and devotes her life to shopping. We will understand where this obsession with possession and spending comes from: her poor childhood as a Mexican immigrant, and especially the humiliations suffered. She will change gradually, especially when her daughters tell her that they do not need it to be happy… The relationship to money, an article by Sophie Girardot.The text of this article is the property of its author and may not be used without his consent and under certain conditions. Sources / Credits

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Sophie Barbarella

Writer and Public Speaker

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